I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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