So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
