apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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