I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
