Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
