Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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