Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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