Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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