i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
