If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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