In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
