I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
