The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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