i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
