i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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