have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
