i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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