Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
