I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
