Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
