how can u be prego again
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
4 words: hood of his car
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
