Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
