let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
