Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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