So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
