I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
