The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
