If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
