That's intense
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
