I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
