Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Mom said you looked used
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
