why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
