Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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