i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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