A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
