YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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