Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Small penises have feelings too.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize