I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
