I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
