Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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