did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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