Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
