what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
