No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
