thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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