can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
BRING THE BAGELS
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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