im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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