Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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