I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
