i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Randomize
