you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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