I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
