when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
