Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
