my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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