im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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