so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
