All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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