Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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