Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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