i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
