She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
