i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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